Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Randomize
