Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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