quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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