you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
