It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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