Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
