The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Randomize
