lets start a swedish sibling band together
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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