their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Randomize
