We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
where are my eyebrows?
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize
