so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
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