i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
