too bad you live with your parents still
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
