a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Randomize
