my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
