He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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