I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Randomize
