Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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