No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
