I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Randomize
