sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Randomize