I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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