He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Randomize
