whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Randomize
