do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Randomize
