Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
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