I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
