Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
