My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Randomize
