and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
Randomize
