You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize
