Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
