i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
