You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize
