He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
