We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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