margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
Randomize
