No awkward lesbian experiences without me
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
