are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
