around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
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