What tipped you off? The sombrero?
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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