If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Randomize
