I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
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