Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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