I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize
