Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
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