I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
