We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Randomize
