everyone is single if you try hard enough
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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