i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
