New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Randomize
